I’m still so messed up.

Married 15 years. “Emotional affair” that I never got confirmation on having gone any further, which honestly messes me up even more because… what if I overreacted?Divorce was finalized recently. Not my choice. I’m still a wreck. I love/d that woman more than life itself. Yes, I am in therapy. Yes, I work out relentlessly. Yes, I cook and clean and make new friends and hang out and do hobbies and read and write and all the other stuff.I still feel completely messed up from all of it. My “loss” of her, for sure; but also, my inability to likely ever know the whole truth. I think knowing would at least help even if it hurt me more initially…I don’t know. I’m a year post-separation, co-parenting now as no-contact as I can get without completely cutting her out of my life (which would be preferable), and living completely on my own half the time. Anyone else in a similar situation that can maybe shed some light on this? Will I ever actually feel better? Or at least stop thinking about her? Does the cycle of grief ever end? via /r/survivinginfidelity https://ift.tt/0pEPKeO