Can you still think of your WS as a ‘good person’?

I was having a random conversation with my WH today about something… and he said, “Well, I’m a good person, so I could never do that…” I was quiet for a beat, but eventually agreed with him… though I didn’t really know how to agree wholeheartedly. He’s said this before a couple of times and it stops me short. While I do agree that generally he is a good person – he is sensitive to others, he is moral and thoughtful, he is kind natured when it comes to people and social issues… The truth of the matter is, he destroyed another human being. He hurt me in a way that I can never recover from. He did a hateful, evil, selfish, vicious thing. He ruined my life. Our life. And, he knew what he was doing. He did it more than once. He has shown little or no accountability… He has been mean and cold and hateful. He hasn’t shown me empathy and he hasn’t tried to help me when he knows I’m in agony.I can theorize that – perhaps – because he IS a good person, what he did is so awful to him that he CAN’T deal with it, and shuts down. But… how dare he think of himself as a good person knowing how he shattered the person who is closest to him. The person least deserving of his wrath. Is that someone who is capable of being called a good person? By me? By anyone? Do any of you still think of your WS as a ‘good person’? How?? via /r/survivinginfidelity https://ift.tt/eK6cBT5